You make me nervous
No, I don't trust myself without you
You can't trust what your heart tells you
You want to ignore what your brain warns against

And you wouldn't even think to question me
But I put that doubt in your head so long ago
With midnight tales of how my life went wrong

I'll be the greatest disappointment you've ever had
I can't have you expecting the best from me
Because I can't deliver, I'll not live up to higher standards

Too many years of conditioning
Too many attempts to fall off that pedestal

I am what I do, what I say, and what I feel
He argued against it so I had to prove him wrong

I've perfected the ability to do the wrong thing
Oh I'm the cleverest girl, I know
I must prove to you that all I know to do is disappoint
It's not a way to live, I know
It's not fair to anyone but I suppose I'm just selfish that way
Forgive me if you can but it's the only way I know to live

It should be so easy to quit just for you
All the things I need to survive should take a backseat
There was a time I thought I'd never have what those songs are all about
You should be enough for me, you could be the best thing
But I'll be the worst mistake you ever made

I go where the comfort takes me
It used to be your arms
But you're so far away
Waved good-bye and left me here
I know it's not fair, and I never intend to blame you

Now I find solace in places that aren't here
In places where I can't think too hard
Where missing you can't trap me
Where I can unwind just a little bit
Just let the knots I've been tying fray and fall away
It (she) helps me, you know
Fills the spot where you left a hole
It's (she's) no replacement, it's (she's) no you
But damn it, it (she) holds me tight

I thought we'd never part
You were going to be my fresh start
Opened my eyes and made me more true to myself than I've ever known I could be
You were the only thing I required, but
I put my life's happiness on your shoulders
I depended on you to keep me happy and sane, when that was never your job
It should be so easy to stand on my own
But here I stand, wishing I could hide in my own shadow

I fell apart, crushed and crumbled to my knees
I'm stronger when I'm weak
The unsatisfying familiarity
This darkness is what I know, sadly, it's home