Written December 4, 2005
This was just written in the pain of the moment, right here on this blog (my regular blog).

I need someone, I need someone now.
But that's the wrong kind of thinking, I shouldn't need anyone but me,
Right now I'm not the safest company for myself.

I pick up the phone but there's no one to call.
Tears are coming but I'm going to force them back.
Everyone has got their own life and their own things to deal with.

I sit here miles away from being okay,
Shrouding myself in a fake reality to numb the pain,
To focus everything elsewhere; escapism.

My chest aches but I won't let the tears come.
This will make me stronger, but in what sense?
I feel as though I'm always going to feel lonely,
No one is around long enough to quench this need,
But I shouldn't be dependent on anyone but myself.

I'm sick of lonely feelings, sick of hopelessness,
Is there no one who can help me heal?