Written October 17, 2005

Left alone lost and lonely
Feeling sorry, I cry
I want someone to hold me
I feel like I might die
Left to my own devices again
I keep knocking, but I’m not being let in

I think too much
Open up, let my problems thrive and eat me up
And I drink too much, pour another round
Watch as I beat me up
I can’t hold on
The pain is quicker before the dawn

Surrounded by a deafening silence
It’s all some sort of penance
I’m fighting a losing battle
Trying to kill my memories
Sinking slowly and fading away
Into the din of my restless thoughts
I’m learning more on my own than could possibly be taught

I think too much
Open up, let my problems thrive and eat me up
And I drink too much, pour another round
Watch as I beat me up
I can’t hold on
The pain is quicker before the dawn

My pen and this page are my companions
These songs I sing help me to breathe
The road is rough when you’re your own savior
And you’re left with time to grieve

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Okay, so I know the words are going to wrap (which is annoying as all hell) but I hope it won't detract or confuse readers. This was quite possibly one of the most difficult things I've written and I'm not even sure why. I always want my stuff to be great, but this, it had to be perfect. It took me what seems like hours, but was probably only one and near the end of it, I was shaking.

We pick and tear everything apart
All to find the juicy details
Pull them out and put them on display just like ugly entrails
We embellish the plot, spin it all around and watch it go
Feed everyone’s desire to be in the know

It doesn’t matter what’s truth or not
Doesn’t matter who gets hurt, what pain is brought
Build it up and tear them down
Whatever livens up this boring old town

Did you hear about so-and-so,
What they’ve kept hid so well for all these years?
Run and spread the gossipy news, it’s music to these nosey ears
Tongues move quick like slicing blades while the unwilling ‘victim’ is left to bleed
All traces of our conscience and compassion slowly begin to recede

It doesn’t matter what’s truth or not
Doesn’t matter who gets hurt, what pain is brought
Build it up and tear them down
Dance around like an entertaining clown

Badger the ‘witness’ to learn every detail
We’ll turn the truth into something more
These words spread like disease or some sort of lore
Watch as we send the ‘victim’ running in shame
While unknowingly we teach them the meaning of disdain

It doesn’t matter what we caused
Doesn’t matter, we broke no laws
It made us feel good inside
Having brought some drama to our mundane lives

In our hands we sift and meld all the secrets that once were held
With our words we cause much strife
Never worrying if we ruin someone’s life
We worry not about who we hurt; have no conscience about spreading someone’s dirt
As cowards we hide behind our pointed fingers
While in our wake pain and suffering lingers