Written October 28, 2005

I want you to find this apology; take it to heart
Think of it as my dying wish
Its last beats a lament of my lost soul
A perfect child I never was
I wish I could have felt as though that were acceptable

The luster has gone out of this precious gift

Trapped memories in faded photographs serve only as
Reminders of lost moments, forgotten joys
Your eyes were once so full of youthful pride and overflowed with love
Growing older has left me with none of that to hold

Somewhere everything went awry
Reality knocked on the door and stole the show
Your approval could no longer be gained
Nothing I did was right anymore
Like a child I was constantly left standing as you walked away

Disappointment and pain were never my intentions
My attempts fell short and scattered
I serve only as a pathetic reminder of a failure you created
I’m sorry I couldn’t try hard enough

I miss the light in your eyes, the one only I could coax
All the wrongs I couldn’t make right caused it to dim and die
No blame will I place on you, I’ve put you through too much as it is
A few moments more, that’s all I need

This blood coursing through my veins was a gift from you
A gift I shamefully return
My tears fall and flow, soiling the crimson pools at my side
I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more
Another wrong…
Another pathetic attempt...
I love you...
Love me...
Forget me…
Please, forgive me...